The 10 Types of Parents at Youth Sports Events

And how to deal with them.

The school year is ending, which means parents everywhere are gearing up for a summer of spending entire weekends sitting on metal bleachers in 105-degree heat indexes while their children play 17 ball games consecutively. Get excited!

The Youth Sports Industrial Complex is concerning for many reasons, but not all youth sports are problematic. They are great opportunities for kids to learn social and physical skills, develop confidence in their abilities, and enjoy exercise. Even the most casual rec league has benefits for children of all ages.

It will also have lots of youth sports parents.

Now, for more than three decades, I’ve been involved with youth sports as an athlete, spectator, official, and coach, and I’ve learned a thing or two about the types of parents you’ll encounter at these events. Not every event features every type of parent, but based on my experience, you may come across any of them at events for a whole host of sports, including wrestling, baseball, softball, basketball, soccer, football, gymnastics, and track and field.

If you’re unaccustomed to these environments, it can be scary, so I’m here to not only explain the traits of each parent type, but I also added a recommendation on how to handle those interactions. Because youth sporting events should be enjoyable for everyone.

The Absentee

This parent is just here so they don’t get fined. They are in the stands or on the sideline, but their full attention is on their phone. They’ll be scrolling social media or sending emails while their child looks over longingly in search of a proud smile only to be disappointed. Occasionally the child will get in some kind of trouble or altercation on the field and it will take a bullhorn and tornado siren to get The Absentee’s attention.

Recommendation: If the parent’s child does something noteworthy more than once and The Absentee does not acknowledge the achievement, provide the child with a pool noodle, with which they can then take a swing at the parent.

Photo by Alireza Hosseini Moghadam on Unsplash

The Multitasker

It may not seem like this parent is paying attention to the event, but do not be fooled. They are not only capable of following every second of action on the field, but they are doing this while entertaining at least one other child under the age of three. They could have their back turned while handing Goldfish to a toddler and still call out “TAKE THE SHOT” as soon as the player has an opening. This person likely brought the team’s snacks, will send photos to the team’s group chat, and is the official scorekeeper.

Recommendation: Do not cross this person. Become their friend and learn their ways. They’ve probably already written a book about their secrets and recorded an episode of a podcast during halftime.

The Copycat

This parent is eager to learn. They fully support their child trying a new sport, and because they want to be present, they are immersing themselves in the experience by taking cues from other parents. When one parent shouts, “WATCH FOR THE SCREEN,” The Copycat does the same. When they hear, “WHERE WAS THAT, BLUE?!” they repeat that, too. They mean well, and while their child is likely cringing, there is no shame in a parent starting out here.

Recommendation: If you are more experienced in this sport, offer some tips and advice. BUT FIRST, if you want to have some fun, loudly say some random phrases that have no actual meaning but could prompt the echo. You will get a good chuckle at a wrestling tournament after The Copycat screams, “ROMANIAN TURTLE WHIP!”

The Know-it-All

The most likely explanation for this person is that they wanted to be the coach, but their child told them not to do it. They know all the rules of the sport, as well as the finer points of strategy, and they will not let anyone forget about it. They’ll point out when a runner is out of the baseline, or if the team should have a midfielder push forward to attempt a late-game comeback, or they’ll scream “THREE SECONDS” every single possession, all while slowly inching closer to the field of play. The coach hates this person.

Recommendation: For your sake, attempt to sit as far away from this person as possible. Do not engage, even if they are objectively wrong, as it will only turn into a loud and unnecessary argument as they pull out their personal copy of the rules of the sport from the pocket of their letter jacket.

The Pacer

It doesn’t matter if the event is a state championship or a random Saturday game at the Y, this parent is nervous about it. They do not sit down for a single second for the duration of the event, instead either walking up and down the sideline or standing near the entrance to the venue. You’ll see them biting nails, wincing every time their child is involved in the action, and regularly turning away from the game because they can’t watch. They will watch, however, and that will cause more nervousness.

Recommendation: Mostly you’ll want to stay out of this person’s way. Offering platitudes of encouragement won’t make a dent in their nerves, so the only interaction I’d suggest is asking if they want anything from the concession stand. They are too nervous to eat or drink anything, but it’s the thought that counts.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

The Charlie Chaplin

This parent may seem like a good person to sit next to, but be warned that what they lack in verbal communication is more than made up for in physical movement. They appear to be wearing an invisible virtual reality headset, writhing and thrashing around to match what’s needed in the game. Their arms and legs will flail, their faces will express more emotion than some Emmy-winners, and you’ll wonder if there’s anything that could happen that would prompt them to utter a word aloud. (There’s not.)

Recommendation: If you begin to notice The Charlie Chaplin next to you, pay careful attention to anything that could unintentionally become a weapon: sharp fingernails, jewelry, car keys, water bottle, even a paper program can draw blood in their unruly hands.

The Encourager

A font of ceaseless positivity, The Encourager is incapable of criticism. Whether their child is losing a rout or blowing out the other team, their “way to go!” is equally as earnest. This person probably doesn’t know all that much about the sport they’re watching, but they know their child is doing a great job, as are all the other participants. You will hear a stream of generic cheers delivered with genuine excitement even as their child’s team is on the verge of getting run-ruled in the third inning.

Recommendation: Youth sporting events would be more enjoyable if we had more of this type of parent, to be honest. Just constant exaltations of “YOU’VE GOT THIS,” “THERE WE GO,” and, my favorite real-life example, “BALANCE!” You can’t even guess which sport that’s from, which is the ideal parent comment. 10/10, no notes.

Photo by Ben Hershey on Unsplash

The Bad Poker Player

The comments from this parent are often similar to those of The Encourager, but their body language and intonation undercut their words. They may say “GREAT EFFORT,” but it followed a heavy sigh. They’ll throw their arms in the air, exasperated, then clap their hands and say, “KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.” It’s not intentional, but this type of parent would not win any Oscars.

Recommendation: I believe The Bad Poker Player wants to be helpful and encouraging, and their heart is in the right place. They shouldn’t be shunned, simply nudged in the right direction with subtlety. Am I more gentle with this type of parent because it is often me? Who’s to say?

The Maniac (derogatory)

This is who you envision when someone refers to a “youth sports parent.” This person yells at their kid’s team, the other team, coaches, other parents, officials, the Pope, anyone they think is negatively impacting the event. They have already been banned from no fewer than six youth sports complexes, two of which they attempted to re-enter with a disguise. Their child is either exactly like them, constantly causing issues on the field, or the kid is screaming at their parent to sit down and shut up; there is no in between.

Recommendation: Once it becomes clear you’re near this type of parent, attempt to pull out your phone and record some video of what’s about to transpire. You’ll want to cash in on some internet clout and the authorities may ask for help with evidence. If confronted, stand tall and roar like you would when approached by a black bear. They cannot be reasoned with, so do not try.

The Maniac (complimentary)

This parent combines the attitude of The Encourager, the wisdom of the Know-it-All, and the energy of The Maniac (derogatory) all positively channeled into supporting their child. They are likely wearing a homemade t-shirt, holding a homemade sign, and, if permitted, waving a pom pom. Their child is equal parts horrified by and appreciative of the coordinated cheers and dances, which are carried out in applicable game situations. It may take time to adjust to this type of parent, but you’ll come to adore them.

Recommendation: Be patient. While you may initially recoil at this parent’s enthusiasm, it is infectious, and soon enough you’ll be giving them an S, a C, an O, an R, and an E. Embrace it. You don’t have many opportunities to be silly in public, so take advantage of the license for this freedom. And if you’re a parent, your kid will be embarrassed in the moment, which is both a) a bonus, and b) temporary.

Photo by Keith Johnston on Unsplash

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Sidebar: what type of parent are you?

Whether you’re a parent yourself or simply attending an event this summer, hopefully this will allow you to enter the world of youth sports with confidence. Stay safe out there, people.