Dad and two-year-old walk upstairs after finishing breakfast, entering Toddler’s room.
Dad: Okay, it’s time to get dressed.
Toddler: Ok. Why?
D: Because you need to wear clothes to daycare.
T: Oh. Why?
D: Because people in public places generally frown upon others showing up without clothing.
T: Oh. Why?
D: I’m tempted to say ‘because I said so’ here, but I don’t want to squash your inquisitive nature.
T: Oh. Why?
D: Because asking questions is good.
T: Ohh. Why?
D: Because learning things is good.
T: Ohhh. Why?
D: Because the more you learn, the more you know and understand, and hopefully that will lead to you being a more kind and helpful person. So can you please pick out your clothes?
T: Okay. Why?
D: Because we live in a society and certain things are expected of members of said society to not harm or offend other members of said society.
T: Ohhh. Why?
D: Do I look like a sociology professor?
T: Yes.
D: …
T: …
D: How do you know what a sociology professor looks like?
T: …I don’t know.
D: Okay, well can you please just get dressed?
T: Yes. Why?
D: *rubs bridge of nose, sighs heavily*
Dad and Toddler, driving to daycare with rain falling outside.
T: Is it raining, Daddy?
D: It sure is, kiddo.
T: Why?
D: Well, it’s springtime, and around here that means it’s going to rain sometimes.
T: Oh. I don’t like rain.
D: I’m not a huge fan of it, either, but we do need the rain on occasion.
T: Oh. Why?
D: Plants like trees and flowers and grass can’t live without water, and the plants give off oxygen that we breathe to stay alive.
T: Ohhh. Why?
D: I… I guess because that’s just how it works. The plants get water and sunlight and give us breathable air. It’s science.
T: Ohhhhhhhhh, it’s science?
D: Yep, it’s science.
T: Oh, okay.
D: …
T: Why is it raining?
D: *trying to remember 7th grade science class lessons* I think it’s because clouds are made of water droplets, and eventually those water droplets are too heavy to remain in the air, and they fall as raindrops.
T: Ohh. Why?
D: Gravity.
T: Ohhhhhh, gravity?
D: Yep.
T: …
D: …
T: Why?
D: *turns up radio* What? Sorry, I didn’t hear you but we’re almost there, sweetie.
Dad cooks a well-balanced meal of protein, starch, and vegetables and places a plate in front of Toddler.
T: I don’t like green beans.
D: That’s okay, these are peas.
T: I don’t like peas.
D: That’s not true, you’ve eaten peas before. You need to eat your peas tonight.
T: Why?
D: Because you need to eat vegetables to grow big and strong and healthy.
T: Oh. Why?
D: Because our bodies depend on the nutrients provided by food to give us energy and to allow our bones and muscles to grow.
T: Ohhh. Why?
D: That’s just how our bodies work, I suppose.
T: Oh. Why?
D: I… I’m gonna level with you here. I don’t have a great answer, so that’s probably a question you’ll have to ask God.
T: Oh. Why?
D: Because I didn’t create our bodies, and biology wasn’t my favorite subject in school.
T: Why?
D: I guess because it didn’t come as easily to me as other things like math, reading, and writing. I still did well in it, but it wasn’t as enjoyable to me.
T: Oh. Why?
D: I’m not sure, really. I liked some subjects more than others, and by liking those subjects, I spent more time on them, which made me like them more. Different people feel differently about different things, though.
T: Ohh. Why?
D: Great question. It’s probably a combination of neuroscience, genetics, our environment, and our expectations that shape the way we experience various pleasures. Psychologist Paul Bloom argues that, “the enjoyment we get from something derives from what we think that thing really is.”
T: …
D: …
T: what
D: I don’t know, I was not a psych major, I’m just a guy with an internet connection. Please don’t ask why.
T: Okay.
D: Thank you.
T: I don’t want to eat peas.
D: You can’t have dessert unless you eat your peas.
T: Okay. Why?
D: *turning a deep shade of red, calmly* Because desserts are special treats for people who eat their vegetables.
T: Oh. Why?
D: Because that’s the system we’ve created to incentivize healthy eating habits, which ironically may not actually be the healthiest way of handling it based on the complex relationship our society has with food and eating.
T: Why?
D: Are you asking why did we create that system or why is that system problematic?
T: *blinks*
D: Either way, it’s a difficult question to answer and I would really just like for you to eat your vegetables, please.
T: I don’t want to.
D: Why?
T: Becaaauuuuuuuse. I don’t want to.
D: *sobs*
Dad places Toddler in crib.
D: Okay, time to close your eyes and go to sleep, honey.
T: Why?
D: Because you need to sleep.
T: Oh. Why?
D: Because our bodies need to rest in order to recharge and have enough energy for tomorrow.
T: Ohhh. Why?
D: Because our bodies were not created to sustain a never-ending stream of activities OR QUESTIONS. We play during the day and sleep at night so we can play more tomorrow. If we didn’t sleep we wouldn’t be able to play.
T: Oh. Why?
D: *aggressively rubs temples* I’m going to refer you to God on that one, too. Seems like a design flaw, but I’m not the expert here.
T: Okay. Wh-
D: PLEASE LET ME GO I NEED REST MY BRAIN CANNOT HANDLE THE QUESTIONS
T: …
D: …
T: …why
D: *inhales for seven seconds* Why do you keep asking why?
T: Because, I want to.
D: But why?
T: Because. I want to.
D: BUT WHY??
T: Because. I want to.
D: You understand that’s not a very satisfying answer, right?
T: Yeah.
D: So why do you keep doing it?
T: Because. I want to.
D: Okay, fine. I give up.
T: Okay. Why?
D: *hangs head, exits room*
T: Night night, Daddy. I love you.
D: Good night, kiddo. I love you, too.
T: Why?
D: *screams into pillow, pauses* It’s impossible not to.